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Commonplace

A Story That Could Be True

by gaston on Nov.29, 2009, under Commonplace

If you were exchanged in the cradle and
your real mother died
without ever telling the story
then no one knows your name,
and somewhere in the world
your father is lost and needs you
but you are far away.

He can never find
how true you are, how ready.
When the great wind comes
and the robberies of the rain
you stand on the corner shivering.
The people who go by–
you wonder at their calm.

They miss the whisper that runs
any day in your mind,
“Who are you really, wanderer?”–
and the answer you have to give
no matter how dark and cold
the world around you is:
“Maybe I’m a king.”

-William Stafford

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Berryman

by gaston on Oct.14, 2009, under Commonplace

I will tell you what he told me
in the years just after the war
as we then called
the second world war

don’t lose your arrogance yet he said
you can do that when you’re older
lose it too soon and you may
merely replace it with vanity

just one time he suggested
changing the usual order
of the same words in a line of verse
why point out a thing twice

he suggested I pray to the Muse
get down on my knees and pray
right there in the corner and he
said he meant it literally

it was in the days before the beard
and the drink but he was deep
in tides of his own through which he sailed
chin sideways and head tilted like a tacking sloop

he was far older than the dates allowed for
much older than I was he was in his thirties
he snapped down his nose with an accent
I think he had affected in England

as for publishing he advised me
to paper my wall with rejection slips
his lips and the bones of his long fingers trembled
with the vehemence of his views about poetry

he said the great presence
that permitted everything and transmuted it
in poetry was passion
passion was genius and he praised movement and invention

I had hardly begun to read
I asked how can you ever be sure
that what you write is really
any good at all and he said you can’t

you can’t you can never be sure
you die without knowing
whether anything you wrote was any good
if you have to be sure don’t write

-W.S. Merwin

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Marginalia

by gaston on Oct.02, 2009, under Commonplace

Sometimes the notes are ferocious,
skirmishes against the author
raging along the borders of every page
in tiny black script.
If I could just get my hands on you,
Kierkegaard, or Conor Cruise O’Brien,
they seem to say,
I would bolt the door and beat some logic into your head.

Other comments are more offhand, dismissive -
“Nonsense.” “Please!” “HA!!” -
that kind of thing.
I remember once looking up from my reading,
my thumb as a bookmark,
trying to imagine what the person must look like
who wrote “Don’t be a ninny”
alongside a paragraph in The Life of Emily Dickinson.

Students are more modest
needing to leave only their splayed footprints
along the shore of the page.
One scrawls “Metaphor” next to a stanza of Eliot’s.
Another notes the presence of “Irony”
fifty times outside the paragraphs of A Modest Proposal.

Or they are fans who cheer from the empty bleachers,
Hands cupped around their mouths.
“Absolutely,” they shout
to Duns Scotus and James Baldwin.
“Yes.” “Bull’s-eye.” “My man!”
Check marks, asterisks, and exclamation points
rain down along the sidelines.

And if you have managed to graduate from college
without ever having written “Man vs. Nature”
in a margin, perhaps now
is the time to take one step forward.

We have all seized the white perimeter as our own
and reached for a pen if only to show
we did not just laze in an armchair turning pages;
we pressed a thought into the wayside,
planted an impression along the verge.

Even Irish monks in their cold scriptoria
jotted along the borders of the Gospels
brief asides about the pains of copying,
a bird signing near their window,
or the sunlight that illuminated their page-
anonymous men catching a ride into the future
on a vessel more lasting than themselves.

And you have not read Joshua Reynolds,
they say, until you have read him
enwreathed with Blake’s furious scribbling.

Yet the one I think of most often,
the one that dangles from me like a locket,
was written in the copy of Catcher in the Rye
I borrowed from the local library
one slow, hot summer.
I was just beginning high school then,
reading books on a davenport in my parents’ living room,
and I cannot tell you
how vastly my loneliness was deepened,
how poignant and amplified the world before me seemed,
when I found on one page

A few greasy looking smears
and next to them, written in soft pencil-
by a beautiful girl, I could tell,
whom I would never meet-
“Pardon the egg salad stains, but I’m in love.”

Billy Collins

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A Rabbit As King Of The Ghosts

by gaston on Sep.23, 2009, under Commonplace

The difficulty to think at the end of day,
When the shapeless shadow covers the sun
And nothing is left except light on your fur—

There was the cat slopping its milk all day,
Fat cat, red tongue, green mind, white milk
And August the most peaceful month.

To be, in the grass, in the peacefullest time,
Without that monument of cat,
The cat forgotten on the moon;

And to feel that the light is a rabbit-light
In which everything is meant for you
And nothing need be explained;

Then there is nothing to think of. It comes of it-
self;
And east rushes west and west rushes down,
No matter. The grass is full

And full of yourself. The trees around are for you,
The whole of the wideness of night is for you,
A self that touches all edges,

You become a self that fills the four corners of
night.
The red cat hides away in the fur-light
And there you are humped high, humped up,

You are humped higher and higher, black as
stone—
You sit with your head like a carving in space
And the little green cat is a bug in the grass.

-Wallace Stevens

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Notes for my Body Double

by gaston on Feb.29, 2008, under Commonplace

The plot hole by which you must enter in
to the story is a doozy, a real humdinger,
if you will, and it is all made of fire,
the way the stars are made of fire,
though we dream them to be utterly cold
and prickly with a sad light. Nothing
ever stops in my world to hear me
singing to you. I have always loved you,
sweet twin, beloved doppelgänger,
alien lump of word in my mouth,
language I spent three years learning
only to forget when it grew too hard
the phrases that meant something:
Dear, I am your long lost butter cookie;
and, I am sorry, it was accidental,
but I have dipped the poodle in laudanum.
Let us do away with digression
for the night, though to me
it has always seemed the heart’s core,
and think on our motivation
for the lines to follow:
the suddenness of our sorrow is shocking
and the day is hollowed out
and here at this moment,
this crucial hinge of the breaking heart,
I think of the day years ago
when I was a boy and came upon my uncle,
a fish’s tail clamped in his teeth,
tearing the skin from the fish with such force
I could hear it —
and I felt so strange and empty
I have never spoken of it
to anyone, or let myself on a day
whole with sun think of it.
What he was doing, and why,
I never asked; there is never
an answer large enough for a world
so huge with meanness.
And I was pulled from myself
but couldn’t feel a thing,
and this is your motivation,
mirrored self, speaking back
the words I make wrongly,
lifting the heavy, crude lot of anything
I can’t. You must know me
exactly, apart from yourself,
to give back to the world what I can’t.
You must know the angles
of light so well the shadows
will accept you like a brother.
You must not choke back my breath
when the ashes on the wind
blind even the birds in the trees.

Paul Guest

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by gaston on Feb.08, 2008, under Commonplace

somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility:whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands

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Scarecrow in Magnolia

by gaston on Sep.02, 2007, under Commonplace

We raked until raking puffed our mitts with hot blisters.
Then we desisted. Wind de-raked our raking then,
spilled the tops of our piles, blew new-fallen bronzes

across brief spans of lawn. We worked like the damned:
I the Sisyphus of fall, you the Sisyphus of autumn.
Rakes dropped, we drifted through discarded wrappers

to a graveyard but yards from our unfinished raking, caught
neighbors peering down through parts in high curtains
to catch us there, looking. Oldest stone. Newest stone. Smallest.

One the size of a toaster read: I bud on earth, to bloom
in heaven.
We drifted back then. With what leaves we could
muster we filled dungarees, a workshirt bequeathed

on a hook in the cellar. For the head: a plastic pumpkin.
And to keep this arrangement from the wind’s
undoing, we cut utility twine in five measured lengths,

four for closing the cuffs, one to pass through the belt loops and bow.
We tangled these limbs in the limbs of magnolia.
The head balanced. Night fell. In the scant moonlight

and the light of seven streetlamps, the sealed magnolia buds
seemed a light silver, the peeling bark a lighter silver,
and the lesser branches brittle black. The figure shaking

in the limbs had shed its color, or it as also black.
The stuffed interior. The rumpled thing. The black flower
that we had meant to blossom was, blossoming.

-Timothy Donnely

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The Clerks

by gaston on Aug.19, 2007, under Commonplace

And you that ache so much to be sublime,
And you that feed yourselves with your descent,
What comes of all your visions and your fears?
Poets and Kings are but the clerks of Time,
Tiering the same dull webs of discotent,
Clipping the same sad alnage of the years.

EA Robinson

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Landscape

by gaston on May.13, 2007, under Commonplace

Through the demon and the deity,
under seventeen or seven thousand
years of circumstantial evidence-
the groans of soldiers coming as the spear
ignites their hearts, the spear itself, aghast-
beyond the morning that does not reveal
its rosy curl unfurling, the let-down
of a waited-for awake, death’s
disappointment, the finality
of a paperweight, heft and thud
of that which holds down, tight
and always-under the mourning that refutes
its very grief as if a bastard child
come to connive himself a birthright, a name
(oh luxury and the denial)-a city
calls and shall forever call The Dead-
and they arrive. They arrive, pockets
empty of breath and full of vagrancy
thresholding the white light’s obvious tunnel:
Dead fathers make the most noise. Otherwise,
it seems like rain or 1941-
a steam train grinds, trestle to track, sparks
distill the gray air (is it air at all?).
Even the climate has done itself death,
soot and pain of that which everlasts-
and it is an ocean of everlast.

Landscape 2

Here the vodka is strong and the meat is filling.
Here, the believer sings in tune but softly as a plea or a praise
and none but god can hear, or even needs to:
Jesus, Jesus you released me, you’ve tamed,
you’ve conquered my inadequate shiver of a heart.

Here my name spells desire, decree, red firm berries,
my name spells out that quiver of flesh at the meeting
of your hips and of your thighs, and flowers to burn
with praise and sympathy. The mountaintops are green and cold
and drunk on what remnants of clouds I cannot say.

Those animals that remember us do it in syllables-how perfect-
yaps and mews we now completely understand. Rub me
at the belly, feed me loyalty from the nipple of your littlest digit.
There is much to be admired here, soon enough. But oh not yet am I
to ash (I am not yet). This awaited place

will wait as a maiden for many years to come. On the unknown
but faraway day, I will arrive like chiffon lifting itself up on a breeze
and the smile of the passing sailor. I will speak of it to everyone,
I will throm and thrum and hum and grieve (a thousand griefs
relieved!) and bend at the feet of my lord who loves into such a death as this.

And yet I ask: If the child wants a snake, will you give her a fish?

Landscape, 3

There is a bridge in the distance,
and it wonders if I will cross it.

There is a bridge in the distance
awaiting my footfalls.

I say to myself these words:
I am a bride, three times over.

I am a bride in a red dress, the bloody
wife, the sacred cup of wine.

I can see only the bridge and its bearings.
What I hear is the sound of my heart,

discerning itself between beats
and gushes. Am I really dead?

Of course not. How could that happen?
How could that ever happen?

When she is born again, a woman’s name
becomes wisdom and flesh.

How can a birth be a death?
My name is Jill Essbaum-sweetheart

who has eaten from the tree. The wisest apple is one
whose pulp is firm and sweet.

Landscape 3, revisited

It is steel, not stone, the bridge of evermore.
Heavy footsteps rattle its girders, and the crossing
is tenuous like acrobatics. This I could not see
from the distance. What a novice I am, bride
of ignorance, fear, the devilish set, bloody as rain
on ash Wednesday, bloody as the matador gored,
the bull’s heft nose ring shining in the sun. My heart
makes heavy noises. Thump thump thump
like billy goats gruffing. The body of evidence
is a body. I can see only the bridge and its bearings.
What I hear is the sound of my heart,
discerning itself between beats and gushes. Am I
really dead? Of course not. How could that happen?
How could that ever happen? When she is born
again, a woman’s name becomes wisdom and flesh.
This is how the aftermath resolves.

-Jill Alexander Essbaum

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We Who Are

by gaston on Feb.08, 2005, under Commonplace

We who are
your closest friends
feel the time
has come to tell you
that every Thursday
we have been meeting,
as a group,
to devise ways
to keep you
in perpetual uncertainty
frustration
discontent and
torture
by neither loving you
as much as you want
nor cutting you adrift.
Your analyst is
in on it,
plus your boyfriend
and your ex-husband;
and we have pledged
to disappoint you
as long as you need us.
In announcing our
association
we realize we have
placed in your hands
a possible antidote
against uncertainty
indeed against ourselves.
But since our Thursday nights
have brought us
to a community
of purpose
rare in itself
with you as
the natural center,
we feel hopeful you
will continue to make unreasonable
demands for affection
if not as a consequence
of your disastrous personality
then for the good of the collective.

-Phillip Lopate

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